I've been watching World Cup Soccer with (and without) my husband. I started in life as an American football fan, which I still am, but over these past eight years the World Cup has been warming my heart (and nether regions).
Yes. I became a fan because the guys are cute, powerful, handsome, sexy, stunning and sometimes, jaw-dropping. Need I go on? And even if I thought about feeling guilty for lusting after the players, Jezebel.com took care of that for me in their article, Why Shameless Objectification Can Be A Good Thing.
This week I was watching Ronaldo of Portugal and asking myself the following question, "If I had to have sex with either him or the Italian goalie, Gianluigi Buffon, which would I choose?"*
When I caught myself mulling over this quandary, I became extremely proud. I thought that this must be what it's like to be a guy. Seriously, when World Cup Soccer is on (which I actually, do enjoy as a sport) I think about sex every 35 seconds. This is a significant improvement over my usual frequency of once every 3-5 days. This is epic! I'm always searching for ways to boost my libido (it's weak and flabby compared to my husband's healthy and robust sex drive.)
And just when I got really pleased with my new soccer-based solution to all my sex problems the irony caught up to me and knocked me flat. World Cup Soccer is on for ONE month, every FOUR years, making it, in fact, a perfect match for my rarely ever, hot-and-more-often cold sex drive. So play on, Spain, Germany and Brasil! I've got you for another week and a half. Maybe after that I can try the MLS? Wish me luck...
*The answer, in this case, is that I find the Italian goalie more attractive and passionate, but also very potentially nasty. I think he must do terrible things to ladies. So I picked Ronaldo.
I know, poor me.
We need to have a brainstorming session to come up with new sources of lady porn. Because we can't wait around four more years for a new kick in the libido.
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