Vibe of the Week: Iconic Ring

Inspired by Jen*'s post about introducing a vibrator into your sexual curriculum, I decided this week to feature a couples vibrator, thereby making it much easier.

Recommended Use: Use alone or with a partner. Or just wear it to a "cocktail" party.

Pros:

• Water resistant, shower friendly
• Phthalate-free, latex-free
• Dual vibration modes including pressure sensitive and constant vibration
• Replaceable batteries
• Quiet

Cons:

• Can slip around
• Short battery life
• Lacks power

Cost?
$35

Where can I get one?
JIMMYJANE
drugstore.com

Keeping Up With the Smiths

I make a general assumption that people visiting my house will not be having sex during their visit. Unless it's a couple staying in the guest bedroom for a few days. But a party? A barbeque? No, I figure if you get to feeling randy at my place, that's great! It will give you something to do when you get home.

But maybe I'm way off base. You see it in movies all the time. The hungry, stilettoed lady catches a glimpse of her slick, long-haired mate across the room and the next thing you know they're pounding it out in the bathroom. But that's just Hollywood, isn't it? Real people wouldn't risk flinging all that DNA around a friend's, or even a stranger's home, would they?

Recently, Jada Pinkett Smith talked about her and hubby Will doing just that at parties and even in the limo on the way to the Oscars. (Was that their personal limo? If not, who used it next?) It makes me wonder if I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities to get freaky with my husband. I sort of considered it just a common courtesy to control myself. However, discretion and self-control don't come up in a lot of conversations about hot marriages. Maybe I need to be a bit more adventurous...but I'm still suspicious.

Really, Jada? You had sex on the way to the Oscars? I don't care how down to earth you are, your life has to be all about "the image" and controlling what you want and what you do not want said about you, your marriage and your family. And, the OSCARS? It's only the one place and time when any celebrity is the most diligently scrutinized. Really, Jada? I'm sorry, if Will Smith was making eyes at me I would hold him off with my muscled thighs and stiletto heels (this is assuming, of course, that I am used to tapping that on a regular basis and that I have a personal trainer to muscle my thighs.) No. You think again, Mr. Smith, not even you are gonna muss my lipstick tonight! Maybe, Jada, just maybe, you are image savvy and the sex-in-the-limo story amounts to nothing more than a great fantasy that leads us all to believe that you are really that much hotter than the rest of us.

[As an added note: Kimberly tried to find a picture of The Smiths at this year's Oscars. You know what? There weren't any! You know why? That's right. They were doing it. Damn you, Jada, you really are that much hotter than me.]

Kinky Night In: On a Budget

The Frisky had an interesting article recently, Everything You Need For A Kinky Night In. We at YG10M love a shopping trip, but after I added up all of their S&M goodies, the $995 pricetag gave me a jolt. And not the good kind. So I headed off to my local 99 Cents Only store to see what I could find to kinkify your boudoir.

The one thing I knew they would have were the cosmetics. Red nail polish and red lip gloss. Simple, quick changes that can work wonders. Especially a glossy, red mouth!

My next item proved a bit harder. A black push-up bra. Their version was sexy and lacy, and $41, ours is more "sexy girlfriend." A cotton lace-edged tank with a sheer red thong. Which can totally work. Especially for $2.

Riding crop? For reals? Here's what I found for $1:

I know. Not the best. But slightly padded with rubber with a gorgeous rainbow wood stained handle. It's S&M-ie,...no? Well, it gets worse. This one involves crafting skills:

I thought maybe a little hot glue, a bit of leather...smack! Pleasure abounds! Okay, I'm reaching...

For our next accoutrement of pleasure, The Frisky mentions a nice silk rope as a restraint. I love a multi-tasker, and sparkles, so I give you:

After that, and this weird policy the 99 cent store had of setting the air conditioner at 99 degrees, I hightailed it to Target, (my first love), to fill in the rest. Just to recap so far:

The Frisky: $91

YG10M: $7

Now, Target was slightly more complicated, I had left the tougher items for them to fill in. We still need Christian Louboutins, a corset, a blindfold and handcuffs. Not exactly my everyday shopping list. I knew the beauty section would have some kind of face mask and it did not disappoint. This little guy was around $5:

The Louboutins could be thought of as impossible to find, but not with my pioneer spirit! And my deep, dark memory. I read somewhere that Martha Stewart has her assistant black sharpie the bottom of her red soled Louboutins. Inspiration! Black patent heels, on sale for $17.84. Sharpies:$5. Feeling sexy in your own shoes: Priceless.

After my coup with the shoes, I was nearly bubbling over with inspiration. And since I felt my riding crops were sort of,...ridiculous...I was happy to keep looking in the one place I knew I could find something. A place where sex toys and pet toys collide. And? It jingles!

Okay. So I would probably remove the bell. I don't want any Pavlovian reactions come Christmas time.

And last but not least, the corset. That one really got me. The only corset-esque item was a black girdle in the shapewear section. The kind that when shifted, rolls, exposing flesier-flesh than if you were naked. Yuck. So, I went with what I found at the 99 Cents Only store...wait for it...

Okay, so not exactly sexy. But confining, won't roll up on you. Could double as a restraint. Unisex color. (Although not exactly racially sensitive). It could work. What do you want for 99 cents?!

Sorry. Ahem...

That leaves us spending a grand total of $33 which is a savings of $962. That's the same as three cups of coffee a day! And now you get to feel sexy, have some fun and still afford college for your little guys.


*I know, I know, I forgot the handcuffs. Use the scarf!

Vibe of the Week: SaSi

The SaSi is less a vibe and more a "sensual experience." More like a partner. A tiny massage head moves under a thin sheet of silicone, which you control, and the Sasi remembers. Sounds like voodoo!

Recommended Use:
Use alone, and take your time. You control the motion with buttons that "skip" or "don't stop." Seems more like a replacement than something you use with a partner.

Pros:

• Small and quiet
• Fits in hand with easy to control buttons
• Water resistant silicone cover
• Slow, erotic, feels like oral
• Rechargeable with base
  

Cons:

• May not fit every woman
• Buttons too close together, hard to use
• Undulating head too small
• Not powerful enough
• Takes too long
• Expensive!
  

Cost:
On sale for $148!

Weekend Love

7 Things to Say While Getting it On.

"I am fairly fond of you."

That gets me soooo hot.

Porn for Women?

To a lot of women, me (K*) included, porn is a pretty controversial subject. Is it bad for women? Empowering? I still don't have any answers, but I'm a lot closer to understanding it, i.e., not as bad as I once thought and maybe even watchable now. After all, I'm over 30 and more confident in my body and my relationship. But, now, how can I find what turns me on?

The internets are so full of porn that searching seems like shopping in infinity. And the sheer thought of heading behind the curtain in a video store reminds me True Porn Clerk Stories, a hilariously frightening blog. So instead we here at YG10M found some resources to help everyone find what tickles their fancies:

Good Vibrations
Good vibes shoots its own videos and categorizes them for you. You can find the ratings on the website and in the catalog. They also feature plenty of video on demand. And there's section called "New to Porn."

Jane’s Guide
One of the oldest and best adult review sites can be found here. Also featuring book and toy reviews. (NSFW).

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn
Violet Blue’s book is one of the first to take women’s porn interest seriously. Written for the absolute beginner, it’s also a useful handbook for those who have experimented quite a bit with porn but haven’t found much to satisfy them.

It's kind of exciting to think that now we can finally find something that is made by women for women. Because if I have to listen to one more "erotic" story, written by a man, with bad saxophone music in the background I'm going to freak out. Freak. Out.

Thanks Sexier Sex Lessons!

Action!

The Frisky posted a link to a Gizmodo post where the editors asked their readers, or, to be more specific, nerds, about the kind of equipment they used to film themselves having sex. (Whew!)

Hilarity ensued.

(I went and read all the comments. Good times...)

Erotic...ca

Seriously, try it. It's so much better now than it used to be. Here are a few reviews and tips on finding what you want:

I recently purchased Nancy Madore's Enchanted. I bought the digital version, which was delivered to my iPod instantly. (Have I mentioned the love I feel for instantaneousness?) The book is a collection of short erotic stories based on classic fairy tales, each focusing on a sexual fantasy or quirk. There's Bluebeard the sadomasochist, The Goose Girl-on-girl, and The Sheep in Wolves' clothes or the wife in hookers' clothes.

I think her books are excellent introductions into erotica, because you get a taste of what's out there and can more easily find what you like. She also has a collection entitled The Twelve Dancing Princesses, which tells a story about each of the princesses and the discontent they feel in their marriages. And how they remedy it. (A little bit harder for me as I don't enjoy stories about rocky marriages and balancing kids and husbands. I do that everyday).

Once I figured out what I wanted in erotic fiction, I needed to figure out how to find it. If I was gonna go to a bookstore, I want to spend as little time as possible standing with my two kids in front of a giant sign that reads "ADULT/EROTIC FICTION." So I found theeroticreader.com. The reviews are exactly what I want. Short, without giving away too much and without expounding on the merits of good vs. bad storytelling. I don't want to read a dissertation, I just want to know if my $6.99 is a good investment. They also divide their reviews into categories, like instant reads, or ebooks, and audiobooks.

Another review site, coffeetimeromance.com, lists book reviews by month reviewed. Some feature a little caution blurb which tells you what you're in for. Nice if you don't like something, or if you really, really do. Information is separate for each book, so you have to click on the review to see which format is available. It really needs some categorizing, because I don't have time to click on every book to see if I like it. But it's nice that someone did most of the work for me. Did I mention how lazy I am?

Are you a multitasker? Is holding a book too much trouble? In our next installment, Jen* will tell us all about erotic audiobooks.

Posted by Jen* and Kimberly*

U + Ur Hand

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Desperately Seeking Erotica

I'm in the market for erotica: stories about sex. And maybe something else: a book about positions and techniques, maybe with photos.

Yes, I can shop online. But sometimes it's nice to see in person what you're getting, plus if you pay for it in a store with cash, there's no record that you bought it. You don't have to worry about Amazon recommending More Porn!! for you every time you log in.

So I went to the Borders in my local mall, and was gratified to see a good-sized section clearly labeled EROTICA. Maybe too clearly. Even though there were some tempting tomes waiting on the shelves, I lost my courage and didn't linger. You see, this section was right on the end of an aisle, in full view of the kids' section (where there was storytime happening, for cripes sake) as well as the coffee bar.

I'm no shrinking violet, but I just couldn't bring myself to flip the pages of the luscious looking black and white erotic photography book...with the whole store watching.

So I talked Kimberly* and Stacy* into joining me at a local independent shop where I assumed we'd find a fabulous erotica section, and hoped it would be more discreetly located.

That's when the hunt began. We wandered all over that store for at least half an hour looking for the good stuff.

We found the Relationships section right off, and for a while it looked like that's all we'd find. It had a couple of books on sex that looked interesting, but they were more therapeutic than stimulating.


Obviously, they had a big fat Romance section. Nice, but not what we wanted this trip.


Somewhere along the way, Stacy* found this book and we didn't hear from her for a while. I think she got a few good pointers from it. Stacy*, do you recommend it?


Finally, Kimberly* took charge (as she so often does) and asked a clerk for help. He directed her to the Fiction Anthologies, and it took a bit more searching to find the very small erotica collection actually located under Essays & Criticism.


Finally! We found a few anthologies that looked pretty damn good, though it was disappointing that there were fewer than a dozen to choose from.


I may have to drag Kimberly* and Stacy* to Borders next so we can compare their offerings in more detail. Maybe start with a glass of wine so I won't mind the exposed location.

Safety in Numbers + Liquid Courage = Successful Hunt for Erotica? I sure hope so!

The Wild Thing

Trying to get pregnant? Looks like wilder, more orgasmic sex gives you a better chance at conception.

"Fertility experts say that women who orgasm during intercourse have a much higher chance of conceiving."

And men produce 50% more sperm.

So, ladies, go crazy and be selfish. Your uterus needs you.


from BettyConfidential.com

Sexy Etsy

Thanks to Jen*, I've been looking for lingerie lately. And when I look, I get discouraged because it looks either "bride-like" or "waif-like." I'm a bigger lady, size 12, and want something that will compliment my post-baby curves and not make me feel like a mildly sexy sausage.

My other issue is color. I love color. And most of the chemises and teddy's are black and white and red. Where are the teals and magentas? The olives and ceruleans?

While on my daily etsy visit, I decided to browse their lingerie. Which is no small feat, almost half of the search contained garters in every flavor imaginable. But I did find some super cute panties and bras and sets. Some of which are custom made!
Latisha Chemise by chicffonintimate. Ah, magenta! And made of super soft bamboo. Comes in sizes extra small to large.
ladramaqueen's Martini Olive Green Bra Set with High-Waisted Panty. So cute and vintage! Include your measurements when you order and the seller will help you with sizing. Mix and match sizes 0-20.

OnTheInside's Sweetspire Camisole. Super sexy, I included the "conservative" photo. Made in sizes extra small through extra large. You can convo with the seller for sizing help.

Sandmaiden bamboo and organic cotton onesie. Sounds deliciously soft and sexy. Also? Made to order! You pick the colors and provide measurements.

Banikki Bloomettes by Under The Root I love this! So very Moulin Rouge! Made to order with sizing and measuring information on the site. As well as a color chart.

This is just a sampling of my favorites. Other things I found on etsy? A metal corset, pasties, victorian corsets, applewood dildos, and a mug that reads, "I snatch kisses and vice versa." Long live handmade!


P.S. All items are around $60. Including sets!

Fantasizing About Fantasies

Sometimes a good fantasy is all you need after a day of folding laundry and making pot roast. That moment before bed when you lie there, contemplating sex and maybe thinking yourself into it. Maybe you envision your husband is a vampire or simply a sexy stranger. It can be very exciting! Now, actually telling your husband, that can be terrifying!

Amber Madison, the resident sexpert of Betty Confidential.com, answers questions about sexual fantasies and has tips to help you communicate them to your partner. She also reminds us that they are fantasies, not realities.

So, I'll leave you to it. The pool boy is here and my parent's are out of town...

Smelling Sexy

I've been thinking a lot lately about the separation of woman and mom. And ways to make the line between them more clear. Jen* and I were on a random date and ended up browsing the Sephora. We started trying on perfumes and talking about what we liked, i.e. smelling clean, and I was reminded of my fragrance quest.

I decided that fragrance is what will make my double yellow line between the two worlds. A daytime flavor and one I wear for "special" occasions.

When I was younger, my friend's mother always smelled like roses. Which I have always thought to be super cool. Every time you hugged her, roses! Even now, when I smell roses I think of her. And that's what I need. A signature scent, but for sexy time. So when I put it on, I feel sexier and the sense memory will, hopefully, trigger lust in my husband.

While looking for information about sex and smell (sorry, ew.), I found this website, ozMoz.com. It seeks to teach the world about perfume from its history to the manufacturing process. And they have a quiz! To help you find your scent! And even though it's based on strange pictures, it was dead on. I am a citrus with a sub-group aromatic. Stunning! I wear a grapefruit spray everyday! And have owned two of the perfumes on the resulting list!

So now my search has been made that much easier. But just for fun, I'm still browsing here. There's nothing like smelling like cinnamon buns to turn your man on!

Sexy Target: Part 2

Oh, Target, you sweet mistress of the dark! Part two of Sexy Target features Jen* and I perusing only two aisles. But these two aisles are chock full of fun! Anything you need for your lady parts is available. And for every stage:

A Kama Sutra Weekender Kit? Awesome. With flavored massage oils, powders and a feather duster. I hear a sexcation rumbling in the distance!
I had never heard of freezable lubricant cubes. And Target has them:
I used to use "the economy is bad" as a reason to not put-out. Looks like I need a new reason. Target? Thanks:
On sale for $26.39? This must pack a serious punch:
These were pretty lame as a "personal device," what with having to hold the button down to use, but sometimes a nice back-rub is all you need to get in the mood. And for $5:
Okay, now we're talkin'. Hydragel massager with heat.
Oh, Target, how I love your travel size section! Jen* and I spent $7 and we made the perfect weekender getaway bag! Exotic body wash with natural sponge, masculine body spray, altoids, lubricant and even clean-up, all in a handy little bag!
Next Up: Let's Get it On. Check back Monday!

Sexy Movie Thursday

Watching a movie with your husband can be a great way to "get in the mood." But what to watch? The girls and I researched and found a bunch. Since there were so many that we hadn't seen, we decided to review one for you each week. (I didn't want to send you off on the path to great sex with a map of lameness). Our list was compiled after lots of internet research. We wanted sexy, erotic films we could watch with our husband that weren't porn. (If you want porn, it is way easier to find). Recommendations welcome!

Yesterday, after trying for two days to download a movie on my laptop, I finally broke down and went to my local video conglomerate. I walked up and down the aisles looking for films on my list. It was terribly frustrating. The movie would be there, but it wouldn't be the unrated version. So I ended up with very mainstream movies.

Last night I grabbed a glass of bad sparkling wine and sat down to watch In the Cut. Frannie, (Meg Ryan), a lonely New York english professor, lives in the vicinity of a gruesome murder. Detective Malloy, (Mark Ruffalo), is sent to question possible witnesses. Thus begins Frannie's voyage into the "darker side of passion." Soon she realizes that she knows more than she should and begins to question the motives of all the men in her life.

There were two pretty good sex scenes, slightly more realistic than erotic. And if you enjoy a little Mark Ruffalo, it's a good time. 

The only downside to this film is that there are at least two parts with graphic depictions of crime scenes. Maybe a few degrees worse than an episode of CSI. 

Watchable with husband? 

Yes. Moderately so.

Baldwin Scale

Alec Baldwin in Malice

I also had the opportunity to watch Red Shoe Diaries 15: The Forbidden Zone. Now, I am a suspender of disbelief, truly, but let's just say my disbelief was freed and took off to watch something else.

The DVD was comprised of three short stories that were lame and not at all erotic and very talkie. I found myself trying to write something better. And trying to stay awake. Even with a topless Beverly Johnson, I felt nothing.

Watchable with husband?

NO. Bad sets and bad writing equals mostly laughter in the bedroom.

Baldwin Scale

Stephen Baldwin in Posse