Tips for Date Night

Everyone says how important date night is for the marriage. Oftentimes a slow down in the bedroom can be immediately reversed by just a little adult only time. I recently enjoyed a really great date night with my husband and remembered why it's the number one piece of advice for parents. My husband and I don't have a sitter that we use, so we rely on the kindness of family members to watch our children. Here are a couple of other ways to go about it:

• Swap with another couple that is as desperate as you are to get out. You watch their kids, they'll watch yours. This could be tricky for a late date, as it would disrupt bedtime schedules, so maybe make it a matinee and early dinner date on a Saturday. Get home just in time for the kids to be exhausted and maybe you'll get the evening to yourselves as well. And once the kids are old enough, you can swap sleepovers and really get a night to yourself.
  

• Look into Parents' Night Out options locally. Many indoor playgrounds and gyms, such as My Gym, offer an evening of tiring fun for the kids while you and your husband go to dinner and whatever. This way you can think of it as a treat for the whole family. Also, many churches offer a similar service.

• Split up the night out. Kimberly* has a friend who goes out with the girls for a couple of hours and then gets home in time for her husband's late meet-up with his buddies. They both get a break without the babysitting fees. Maybe the reconnecting-with-your-spouse part comes later in the evening, but who cares as long as your getting it?

Once all the stars align and you work out some child care solution, here are some other things to consider for date night.

• Have sex first. If you can, drop those kids off and come back home. It's intoxicating to have your home to yourself. You can make noise, play music that's inappropriate for children and generally be an adult like you used to. If you and your husband start the evening with a little grown-up pleasure, believe me it will only get better. Then you can go out (or not) and there's always time for a little more loving once the kids are home and sleeping.

• Try not to over-schedule. Leave time for spontaneity. Don't try dinner and a movie if you're going to have to rush back. My husband and I had a great time wandering leisurely through a jewelry store together. We weren't going to buy a thing and that made it feel like such an indulgence.

• Maybe read a newspaper. Some people have a hard and fast rule; no talking about the kids on date night. I'm not one of those. I like to talk about our children when they can't overhear us. However, I need to be ready for the conversation to move on to other topics. This can be really hard for me because I don't pay attention to anything going on in the world. I think from now on I'm going to prepare for date night by reading up on a few things. I'm not saying you should prep for a job interview or the Larry King Show, just what interests you. Check out some entertainment news or maybe read up on your favorite sports teams. Maybe even check out what has gone viral on YouTube. Just don't be boring!

Kimberly*? Jen*? Thoughts to share?

Our First Giveaway!! - WINNER!

According to Random.org, the winner of the sexy weekend bag is commenter #1! Congratulations pandapanda! Expect an email for your address and stuff later on today! Enjoy!

Our First Giveaway: Sexy Weekend Bag

Jen* and I picked up this little number while on a field trip for our Target posts. We found everything you need for a quick weekend jaunt and it all fits in a sassy little bag. For $7.

All you have to do is post a comment telling us where you would go for a weekend away with your husband.

Good Luck!

You have until midnight PDT, Friday, June 19th to post. Please include a way to contact you if you win. Winners will be randomly chosen via random.org.

Sex Tips from Real Moms

Forget crazy positions. How about some fun, cheap, easy, doable tips for us real women who just want to shake things up a little bit?

1. Clean your room! How many times have you said this to your kids? Removing clutter and kid paraphernalia will give you more of an oasis at the end of a long day.

2. Try getting your sexy back with a new playlist for the bedroom. Music really can soothe the savage beast, or, if you want, let it out!

3. Use a lubricant. There are so many new options available. You can tingle, warm or taste like cherries. It's a smorgasbord of slippery!

4. Try a nice, hot shower with him. It's been a while since my showers were anything but utilitarian. Taking time to touch and wash each other will be a break from the routine and perhaps lead to a more sensual experience.

5. Watch something sexy on TV together. Not everyone feels sexy after watching Sportscenter, so change the channel and see if there's something that turns you both on. Lost, The Tudors, True Blood, The L Word, all good starts.

6. Chew a few Altoids before oral sex. Simple trick = delight for him. And maybe a willingness to try other new things...

7. Bring your laptop to bed. Click around and check out some titillating photos or videos. Discuss. You may learn something new about him.

8. Try out a sex toy. Use a small vibrator on yourself, or let your husband hold it. (This is especially delightful if your husband is behind you).

9. Sexcation. Maybe not "cheap," but so worth it!

Only a couple of these require any forethought on your part, so you have no excuse not to try one tonight!

Sexcation

I keep reading that "staycations" are all the rage. I think that's where you stay at home but do tourist-y things in your own town, as a way to save money on traveling. Or something.

But I think a much more important phenomenon (and one worth investing real money in) is the sexcation. This is a getaway for husband and wife without the kids. We tell our relatives, babysitters and friends that it's to relax and reconnect, but the subtext is always the same: HOTEL SEX.

I've done a few weekends away with the husband since we started procreating. They are wonderful little oases of bliss, and yes, the hotel sex has been gooood.

But. You knew there'd be a but. BUT--the problem I've found is that just one or two nights away (which is all we've managed) is. Not. Nearly. Enough. For one thing, the time rushes by too quickly. For another, it's hard to really relax when you know you're going back home to the monsters the next day. And for yet another, it can also be hard to have mind blowing sex when there's all this pressure because you only got that hotel room for 24 or 48 hours.

That's why I think I need an entire WEEK away. A friend of mine who has three kids recently did a whole week in Hawaii with her husband. She said the moment they arrived they drank mai tais and then literally passed out on lounge chairs and slept the rest of the day. They needed that entire first day just to decompress! But by day three of the trip, they stopped worrying about the kids and trading cute stories of what the littlest one had done lately...and really connected with each other and got down to the good stuff.

Sadly, for many of us an entire week away is a pipe dream, whether for financial or babysitting logistics reasons. But if you're like another friend of mine, who has two kids and has never done even a single night away with her husband...then I say, find the money and DO IT. Find a cheap hotel somewhere, get a relative to watch the kids, and GO. It may not be ideal, but even one night of hotel sex is worth the effort.