Gone on any date nights lately? Chances are, you're doing it all wrong.
I've been conducting an informal poll of my friends and have discovered that their date nights are not ending in sex nearly enough, and it's because they're making easily avoidable mistakes.
Dressing Like a Slob
One friend, let's call her B, told me that she got a babysitter at the last minute and went out for a fast food dinner and movie with her boyfriend. I asked her what she wore, and she shrugged and said "Shorts and a stained shirt." Seriously? I don't care if you're going out at the last minute, you still have enough time to put on tight jeans, a clean shirt and lipstick. Make yourself look good for your man--and insist he do the same. A little sexy underwear underneath isn't a bad idea either.
Eating Like a Pig
Cheeseburger with everything? All you can eat pasta? Double desserts? I understand you're excited to go out to eat without the kids, but you're not doing your figure or your sex life any favors when you order a feast. You know what happens when you eat a big heavy meal? You go home and go to bed with Tums. Instead, keep it light with sushi or a salad, and order dessert to go. It will taste better when it's the final course of the entire evening.
Being a Sloppy Drunk
This is a classic mistake, and I'm certainly guilty of it. If you drink a bottle of wine at dinner and come home hours later, your buzz will be gone and you may have a head or tummy ache. Instead, don't drink during the date (or minimize it), and wait till you get home to knock back a couple. Then you can take immediate advantage of your enhanced mood.
Seeing a Movie. Again.
My friend C told me that they go out twice a month, and all they ever do is see a movie (and often have popcorn for dinner). Nothing wrong with movies--especially if it's a sexy one. But something unique might put you in a more romantic mood. Plan ahead for an evening at the theater, a jazz club, or anything else that sounds different and fun. The new experience will give you more to talk about and set the stage for a deeper connection.
Ruining the Conversation
My friend J actually got it right--she and her husband have a rule to not talk about the kids on date night. And our very own Stacy has said she likes to read the newspaper before a date so she's armed with topics of conversation. Don't forget the lesson I learned about avoiding controversial subjects. Instead, compliment each other, reminisce about your romantic beginnings, maybe even try a little dirty talk.
Just Remember This
If all these rules are making you tired, just remember this: Treat the entire date night as foreplay. Make your time together be a tantric build-up to the hot sex you both deserve when you get back home.
