Minty Fresh Male Grooming

At a girls night recently, I was describing how, before a night of romance, I like to spend a few minutes alone so I can change into something sexy, spritz on a little perfume, and make the mental transition from mom to sex goddess. One of my girlfriends loved this idea, and asked if my husband gets himself all "minty fresh" too.

Hmm. Come to think of it, he doesn't. When I enter the bedroom feeling sultry and ready for action, he is generally lying on the bed in his undies, possibly finishing up a round of Facebook poker. I guess it doesn't bother me exactly, but now that I think about it, it would be nice if he also took a few minutes to make himself more appealing.

The topic then segued into male grooming in general. How many husbands trim the hair down there? How many bother to take a shower before sex once in a while? How many go to the effort of brushing teeth and swishing with mouthwash before leaning in for soul kisses?

Turned out that among the four of us who were there that night, we all had complaints about our husbands' lack of effort. One woman even commented that if her husband would make more of an effort to be fresh and clean downstairs, she'd be willing to go down there more often.

Maybe we need an addendum to our suggestions to husbands for how to get lucky more often. If my man went to the effort to clean up and smell good, I would feel wooed. Attracted. And he'd get more of what he wants, more often.

Mama Martinis: Antioxidant Special

Wine is so passe. We know, because even our French speaking friend agrees.

Instead, mama martinis are all the rage!

At our most recent late night brainstorming session, I mixed up these Antioxidant Specials. The vodka loosened our lips while the power fruits fueled our bodies. Or something. Anyway, they were tasty!

Directions:

1. Chill glasses in freezer. My guests were scared of the size of the glasses, but the extra room means you can actually make weaker drinks by adding more ice and mixers.

2. Put a few blueberries in with a little vodka, and muddle (smash up) the fruit.

3. Add one shot of vodka to each glass. If it's Stacy's*, add half a shot. If it's mine, add two.

4. Pour on some pomegranate mixer. YUM. Add some club soda, crushed ice, a few more blueberries, and a slice of orange.

5. Add a pretty straw and voila! Fresh n fruity, glam n girly, and they went real nice with popcorn and sex talk.

This just in! We now have an Amazon Store, and it includes a page of recommended Mama Martini accessories. Just add vodka!

Desperately Seeking Erotica

I'm in the market for erotica: stories about sex. And maybe something else: a book about positions and techniques, maybe with photos.

Yes, I can shop online. But sometimes it's nice to see in person what you're getting, plus if you pay for it in a store with cash, there's no record that you bought it. You don't have to worry about Amazon recommending More Porn!! for you every time you log in.

So I went to the Borders in my local mall, and was gratified to see a good-sized section clearly labeled EROTICA. Maybe too clearly. Even though there were some tempting tomes waiting on the shelves, I lost my courage and didn't linger. You see, this section was right on the end of an aisle, in full view of the kids' section (where there was storytime happening, for cripes sake) as well as the coffee bar.

I'm no shrinking violet, but I just couldn't bring myself to flip the pages of the luscious looking black and white erotic photography book...with the whole store watching.

So I talked Kimberly* and Stacy* into joining me at a local independent shop where I assumed we'd find a fabulous erotica section, and hoped it would be more discreetly located.

That's when the hunt began. We wandered all over that store for at least half an hour looking for the good stuff.

We found the Relationships section right off, and for a while it looked like that's all we'd find. It had a couple of books on sex that looked interesting, but they were more therapeutic than stimulating.


Obviously, they had a big fat Romance section. Nice, but not what we wanted this trip.


Somewhere along the way, Stacy* found this book and we didn't hear from her for a while. I think she got a few good pointers from it. Stacy*, do you recommend it?


Finally, Kimberly* took charge (as she so often does) and asked a clerk for help. He directed her to the Fiction Anthologies, and it took a bit more searching to find the very small erotica collection actually located under Essays & Criticism.


Finally! We found a few anthologies that looked pretty damn good, though it was disappointing that there were fewer than a dozen to choose from.


I may have to drag Kimberly* and Stacy* to Borders next so we can compare their offerings in more detail. Maybe start with a glass of wine so I won't mind the exposed location.

Safety in Numbers + Liquid Courage = Successful Hunt for Erotica? I sure hope so!

Girls Just Need to Have Fun.

Jen* wrote recently about how incredibly necessary it is to have Girls Nights Out. And there is now scientific evidence to back this up. According to a study by University of Michigan, bonding with girlfriends raises your progesterone level, reducing anxiety and stress. And progesterone is one of the hormones most closely associated with your libido.

One of my favorite parts about writing this blog is that I get to hang out with amazing women and discuss "business." We arrange playdates where we drink diet coke, talk about s-e-x and giggle. And even though I know my children are there, a little part of me feels like I did before I had kids. Like a woman, not a mom.

Now I have scientific proof that I only do it to help my marriage. And $5 martinis are way cheaper than therapy.