Keeping Up With the Smiths

I make a general assumption that people visiting my house will not be having sex during their visit. Unless it's a couple staying in the guest bedroom for a few days. But a party? A barbeque? No, I figure if you get to feeling randy at my place, that's great! It will give you something to do when you get home.

But maybe I'm way off base. You see it in movies all the time. The hungry, stilettoed lady catches a glimpse of her slick, long-haired mate across the room and the next thing you know they're pounding it out in the bathroom. But that's just Hollywood, isn't it? Real people wouldn't risk flinging all that DNA around a friend's, or even a stranger's home, would they?

Recently, Jada Pinkett Smith talked about her and hubby Will doing just that at parties and even in the limo on the way to the Oscars. (Was that their personal limo? If not, who used it next?) It makes me wonder if I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities to get freaky with my husband. I sort of considered it just a common courtesy to control myself. However, discretion and self-control don't come up in a lot of conversations about hot marriages. Maybe I need to be a bit more adventurous...but I'm still suspicious.

Really, Jada? You had sex on the way to the Oscars? I don't care how down to earth you are, your life has to be all about "the image" and controlling what you want and what you do not want said about you, your marriage and your family. And, the OSCARS? It's only the one place and time when any celebrity is the most diligently scrutinized. Really, Jada? I'm sorry, if Will Smith was making eyes at me I would hold him off with my muscled thighs and stiletto heels (this is assuming, of course, that I am used to tapping that on a regular basis and that I have a personal trainer to muscle my thighs.) No. You think again, Mr. Smith, not even you are gonna muss my lipstick tonight! Maybe, Jada, just maybe, you are image savvy and the sex-in-the-limo story amounts to nothing more than a great fantasy that leads us all to believe that you are really that much hotter than the rest of us.

[As an added note: Kimberly tried to find a picture of The Smiths at this year's Oscars. You know what? There weren't any! You know why? That's right. They were doing it. Damn you, Jada, you really are that much hotter than me.]