Kinky Night In: On a Budget

The Frisky had an interesting article recently, Everything You Need For A Kinky Night In. We at YG10M love a shopping trip, but after I added up all of their S&M goodies, the $995 pricetag gave me a jolt. And not the good kind. So I headed off to my local 99 Cents Only store to see what I could find to kinkify your boudoir.

The one thing I knew they would have were the cosmetics. Red nail polish and red lip gloss. Simple, quick changes that can work wonders. Especially a glossy, red mouth!

My next item proved a bit harder. A black push-up bra. Their version was sexy and lacy, and $41, ours is more "sexy girlfriend." A cotton lace-edged tank with a sheer red thong. Which can totally work. Especially for $2.

Riding crop? For reals? Here's what I found for $1:

I know. Not the best. But slightly padded with rubber with a gorgeous rainbow wood stained handle. It's S&M-ie,...no? Well, it gets worse. This one involves crafting skills:

I thought maybe a little hot glue, a bit of leather...smack! Pleasure abounds! Okay, I'm reaching...

For our next accoutrement of pleasure, The Frisky mentions a nice silk rope as a restraint. I love a multi-tasker, and sparkles, so I give you:

After that, and this weird policy the 99 cent store had of setting the air conditioner at 99 degrees, I hightailed it to Target, (my first love), to fill in the rest. Just to recap so far:

The Frisky: $91

YG10M: $7

Now, Target was slightly more complicated, I had left the tougher items for them to fill in. We still need Christian Louboutins, a corset, a blindfold and handcuffs. Not exactly my everyday shopping list. I knew the beauty section would have some kind of face mask and it did not disappoint. This little guy was around $5:

The Louboutins could be thought of as impossible to find, but not with my pioneer spirit! And my deep, dark memory. I read somewhere that Martha Stewart has her assistant black sharpie the bottom of her red soled Louboutins. Inspiration! Black patent heels, on sale for $17.84. Sharpies:$5. Feeling sexy in your own shoes: Priceless.

After my coup with the shoes, I was nearly bubbling over with inspiration. And since I felt my riding crops were sort of,...ridiculous...I was happy to keep looking in the one place I knew I could find something. A place where sex toys and pet toys collide. And? It jingles!

Okay. So I would probably remove the bell. I don't want any Pavlovian reactions come Christmas time.

And last but not least, the corset. That one really got me. The only corset-esque item was a black girdle in the shapewear section. The kind that when shifted, rolls, exposing flesier-flesh than if you were naked. Yuck. So, I went with what I found at the 99 Cents Only store...wait for it...

Okay, so not exactly sexy. But confining, won't roll up on you. Could double as a restraint. Unisex color. (Although not exactly racially sensitive). It could work. What do you want for 99 cents?!

Sorry. Ahem...

That leaves us spending a grand total of $33 which is a savings of $962. That's the same as three cups of coffee a day! And now you get to feel sexy, have some fun and still afford college for your little guys.


*I know, I know, I forgot the handcuffs. Use the scarf!