A Brand New You

I knew my lifestyle would change when I had kids. Hopefully, most of us figured that one out. As for my body, I figured I'd have stretch marks and bigger boobs but other than that my body would regain it's pre-pregnancy status once I lost the baby weight. It just goes to show that many of us have no idea what we're getting ourselves into.

Why did I think my boobs would be bigger? Wishful thinking, I guess. I was wrong. They're smaller. And I got the stretch marks I planned for. I also got separated abdominal muscles, a hernia, weakened hip joints, a C-section scar befitting two ten pound babies and all new hormone cocktails, just to name a few changes. The hernia and abdominal weaknesses led me to a wonderful physical therapist who helped me regain some strength and begin to rebuild a new body for me to carry around for the remainder. Just when I was feeling sorry for myself, she told me I should be glad I hadn't pushed out my oversized babies because then I could be looking at weakened pelvic floor muscles that could lead to things like incontinence and sagging or prolapsing organs...that means your bladder, anus or vagina could start to fall out! Oh, God! Why do you martyr the mothers so?

The worst part about all of this for me is that I only found my physical therapist because I knew someone who worked in her office. In our country, unlike many European nations, our medical professionals don't automatically discuss any of these possible post-partum issues with us. It would be oh, too easy for a new mom to think, "I guess this is just how I am now," while quietly suffering.

We at YG10M know how hard it is to get the sexy back in your marriage in the odd and frightening new world of motherhood but think how impossible it's going to be if you're equipment just isn't working right. So if your body or sex just aren't feeling right after the baby, get thee to a doctor or a physical therapist without delay. Muscle weaknesses can be corrected to a certain degree and strength maintained through physical therapy. You don't want to wait until you're shopping the adult diaper isle, you want to address it now. As Kimberly* said to me recently, "post-partum" is not just a couple of months, it's the rest of your life!

Maybe you've got Vulvar varicose veins, or a painful episiotomy scar. Maybe you can't wait as long before you have to pee anymore. Maybe you're feeling like things have shifted and there's a weight down there you didn't feel before. However pregnancy, labor and delivery took their toll on you, you are not the only one. And if you feel like everything has changed since you had kids, it's because it has! This is the brand new you, so get to know her and give her all the help she needs to feel good again.

And also? Do your kegels.