Don't Shut Down the Sexy

I'm loving this blog. I'm getting great ideas, I'm gaining confidence and things are going well in my marriage bed. But something always kills the momentum. It's like your gym membership. Remember, that monthly bill that you pay and ignore even though you don't quite know where your membership card is anymore? "I was doing great for two whole months, but then I got sick and my mom came to visit and then things picked up at work or preschool or American Idol..." Before you know it you're out of the habit again.

Same thing happens with sex for me. We'll be doing great. Stealing our sexy time two or three times a week and feeling good about it. Then something comes up. Usually my period. Then someone gets sick and just plain needs to sleep. Or the kids get sick and someone has to stay up all night. Then we go visit some relatives and sleep on a crappy air mattress in their basement and no way is that going to happen. Before I know it, we feel like strangers again.

The problem is, I'm pretty good at shutting off my sexual desires. I don't believe that I need sex (even though I'm starting to realize that I'm better off with more of it.) Kimberly* and I spoke about this and she thinks it goes hand in hand with being a mom. She said, "As moms, have we not taken the worst chicken breast, the smallest baked potato? How easy to slip from denying yourself in one part of your life to denying yourself in all parts." It's so true and it's precisely why we need more pleasure in the bedroom, not less of it. I need to really make the mental shift that sex is something good and pleasurable for me, not just something I do for my husband. So I will deal with the setbacks that life gives me and then I will put on that sexy movie, drink a glass of wine in my lingerie and I will not shut down the sexy!