Why can't we talk about "it"?

Sex, I mean. Yeah, I typed it! I've typed it a lot lately. And I have to say that typing it has actually made my sex life better. You know what else works? Talking about it. Having positive conversations with girlfriends/sisters/mothers (yeah, that's right), leads to a more fulfilling sex life.

I was sort of a late bloomer. I was raised Mormon and sex is sort of taboo. I believe it was referred to as "heavy petting." Even though many of my role models in the church were super pious perfection and we were taught to wait until marriage to have sex, my mother still knew enough about hormones and teenagers to inoculate me with enough knowledge to let me decide when I was ready. The talks were usually in the car. I can still picture the little deer farm we drove by when we first discussed "waiting until you're in love."

Now all this knowledge made me very book smart about sex. I was the go-to girl when it came to anal and semen and all that. But I hadn't even kissed a boy. And my first experience was sort of a let down. (Which my mother told me it would be). So, more reading.

Cut to 10 years later, I'm with a man I adore and we've been married 5 years, together for 10, with two kids under 4. We used to be great together, but now my body is different, my hormones are different and I'm barely staying afloat in the mommy sea. I want to make myself happy, because who else is gonna do it, and keep my husband happy, too. But the mommy thing makes it nearly impossible. Nearly. And that's why I love my girlfriends. One mention of, "Sometimes I'm too tired,..."and I get empathy and ideas.

And that's what we're here for. So use us. And don't be shy.