Every last ridiculous minute of my day has to be planned out to accommodate my needs and my kids' schedules. I don't WANT to plan out my sexy time too! Then it doesn't feel, well, sexy. For too long I thought we'd just be spontaneous in our post-kid sex life. And guess what? We were spontaneously not having sex.
So let's not schedule per se. Let's just gather some basic information.
First of all, when can you NOT have sex? Mornings may not work if you can't rise, so to speak, early enough to complete your conquest before the kids wake up. If you leave your lust for the last item of the night, however, chances are you're going to be too tired or your husband is going to fall asleep in front of the T.V. and then the sex shop is closed.
Now, when CAN you spare a naughty moment? Often your best bet is right after the kids pass out. Learn to let the kitchen fester and the DVR take loving care of your TV shows so that you can steal your precious little couple time. Or maybe your schedules do make mornings a possibility. I once read about a couples' therapist that told couples to set their alarm clocks for 4am so they could get up, get laid and then go back to sleep before their day began. That kind of initiative is not happening in my house, but if it works for you, go get it.
So, we haven't scheduled it down to the sordid details but with a clear idea of what could work versus what would be an exercise in futility you have a better chance of recognizing when the right (enough) moment is upon you and seizing the lay!
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